Dear Jack, Month 1 (belated)

To make you feel my love…

May 27, 2011

Dear Jack,

You are one-month-old today, where did the time go? It feels as though we just left the hospital and nervously sat you on the floor of our old farmhouse to meet Kya, the dog, for the very first time. You have filled up our lives, in the best and most exhausting ways possible.

The first two weeks your daddy and I spent time just getting to know you and your needs. Your daddy is such a natural father. He held you constantly and even took extra “baby shifts” so I could rest and recover. You were so fragile and sweet. It was a surreal couple of weeks. We learned to tell the difference between your cries and gave you calm, reassuring words to help you through your first days and weeks. There is a lot of light, noise and activity to adapt to when you are new to this world, you handled the transition beautifully.

So many people came to welcome you here in your first few weeks of life. Grandma Maralee, Grandpa Jeff, Grandma Laurinda, Auntie Andi and Uncle Matthew were waiting for you at the hospital as you were lifted from my tummy. They all got to hold you in their arms when you were so fresh and were instantly in love. They came to visit you in the hospital several times; it was hard to stay away from you. Auntie Erinn rushed up from college just to hold you while you were still in the hospital, she loves you so much! Mama’s good friend from work, Roxanne, came by on your first day. Her eyes filled with tears of joy upon seeing you. Our good friend, your Auntie Nicki (who stayed with Kya, while we stayed with you), came by to hold you and couldn’t believe how special you were! Mama’s best friend since high school, your Auntie Colleen, came by with a basket of our favorites (specifically, chocolate and orange juice for Mama) and lots of love the first night we brought you home from the hospital. Another good friend of Mama’s from work, Rachel, came by a few days later with flowers and the sweetest words upon seeing you.

Your second week brought even more visitors. Your Oregon grandparents, aunties and uncle came by a lot in the first two weeks; they could not get enough of Baby Jack. Great-Aunt Lisa and Cousin Brigitte drove all the way up from California (and back again in two days) just to see you. Your mama's heart was so full from this gesture of love. My boss and friend, Deb, came by to welcome and hold you. Her first son came into the world much the same way you did and weighed almost as much as you, I really appreciated hearing her story as I was trying to sort through all of my feelings about your birth. Another good friend of mine from work, Tracy, came by to say hello to you too. Her daughter is just seven months older than you (to the day); we have hopes that you will become great friends!

While we had a lot of visitors, we also had a lot of time to enjoy our new little family. Your daddy and I found that partnership took on a whole new meaning since your birth. I relied on your daddy so much those first few weeks as my body was still recovering from surgery. We took (very short) walks, got hot chocolate, rocked you and spent lots of time cuddling as a family.

When it was time for Daddy to go back to work, you and I cried. Well, you cried for any number of reasons, I cried because I did not want your daddy to leave. Life did have to move forward, your daddy went back to work and guess what? You and I did fine. We filled our days getting to know each other and looked forward to each evening and the weekends with your daddy. Your daddy even arranged for Auntie Andi to come and hang out with us for a few days. She was an amazing help during your third week. She came over early in the morning and stayed to cook us dinner at night. I will forever be grateful for her kindness and generosity as we were settling into our new life as parents.

These are some of your amazing accomplishments this past month:

• You were born (this is big)!
• You lifted your head at 45 and 90 degree angles, using your arms and neck to push yourself up when on your belly.
• You made some noises that were not cries.
• You learned how to put your hand in your mouth and sometimes use that to sooth yourself.
• You learned to fall asleep when listening to music, strolling in your stroller or driving in the car and can sleep through Kya’s barks.
• You had your first visit to the pediatrician. You were such a great patient, letting the doctor touch you, listen to your heart and lungs and weigh you. We love your pediatrician, she confirmed what we already knew, “He’s perfect.”

Some of your favorites during month 1:

• Your daddy found out really quickly that music soothes you, specifically rap, bad 90’s club mixes and heavy metal. Your favorite song by far is “Lo” by Flo Rida. It is so inappropriate for a baby and you will not be able to listen to it as soon as you are old enough to understand the words, but you LOVE it and it puts you to sleep.
• You loved to be swaddled. There are these magnificent little “swaddle suits” that we wrapt you up in and you slept so soundly, just as if you were back in Mama’s tummy.
• Baths! You loved your first bath. We poured warm water on your head and tummy and you were in heaven. You grew out of the kitchen sink after your second bath. We cannot wait to take you swimming!

This month was all about adjustment, adjusting to a life as parents, your adjustment to a life outside the cozy womb and our adjustment as we make our way through the world as a new little family. My heart has made the biggest adjustment of all. I did not know I could love someone so deeply. When you rest your precious little head on my shoulder and I can feel your hand falling limp on my back, I cannot imagine a world without you in it. Mr. Bob Dylan’s words float through my headphones on our daily walks, “I could make you happy, make your dreams come true, nothing that I wouldn’t do, go the ends of the Earth for you, to make you feel my love.” It’s true.

I love you this much (arms stretching to the moon),

Mama